Bloggers, You’ll love this!

Hey there! Throughout this past year of being new to blogging, I have found and tried so many different apps that are supposed to do so many different things to make my blog it’s best, from professional looking ads and posts,  to apps that are just supposed to make things go smooth and stay up to date, I could go on and on. Most of them are free trials that end, but I found one I absolutely LOVE and have been using constantly from day one. I’m surprised I hadn’t found it sooner, but at least I know it now. It’s called Sniply and basically, if you are reading a post or page and would like to share, you click on the Sniply extension on your toolbar, it sets up a non- invasive ad to one of your pages you choose in the bottom corner of the post you share, it is free and I have to say, I have definitely seen results, check it out!

My Creative Unconscious: It Begins

 Prologue:

Daydreams  and Nightmares

There was this place she imagined, a place far from any person, a place full of trees. A place so full of trees she couldn’t see far in any direction, but she knew if she kept walking she would still be surrounded by trees with a floor covered in decomposing plant material and blanketed with several varieties of small plants, many covered in flowers. She could picture this so vividly, the place, the experience, the stroll she would take.
The forest floor, so alive and natural, untouched by any person, speckled with spots of sunlight that had made it through the dense canopy to the ground. She could hear the breeze rustling through the forest, it was a very soothing sound briefly interrupted by the creaking of branches and the songs of various birds singing so happily. She could almost smell the damp plant life, imagining brief instances where the sweet scent of flowers would caress her for a moment. This was the place she longed for and day dreamed of frequently. This was the place she wished she was, she wished every day she could run away to this place. She wanted to run there alone, far from any person and far from the reality of her life.

Self Help Positive Affirmations

Present Tense Affirmations 

I am improving myself 

I have the power to change

I always take care of myself

I am a positive thinker

I have the confidence to succeed

I am happy with myself

I am constantly growing and developing

I am taking steps to better my life

I believe in myself

I love and respect myself deeply

Future Tense Affirmations 

My life is beginning to improve 

I will always nurture myself

My attitude is becoming more positive

I will keep making progress

I will love and accept myself unconditionally

Having confidence in myself is becoming easier with each passing day

My self-belief is growing

I am starting to make positive changes in my life

I am transforming into someone who lives a healthy and balanced life

Everyday I become more empowered to take control of my life

Natural Affirmations 

Positive thinking comes naturally to me 

I have the desire to be healthy and happy

It is easy for me to make lasting positive changes

Personal growth is an important part of my life

I am a naturally balanced and healthy person

I have complete confidence in myself

I enjoy improving myself and bettering my life

I deserve to live a great life

Believing in myself is my normal state of mind

I have the power to create the life of my dreams

 Here is a Free Gift for you!

Time is precious

So much time wasted,

wasted in such foolish ways

to trade a relaxing stroll on a clear path to my dreams for a bumpy, pitted road, blanketed in twisted and thorny obstructions

no destination can be reached on this road, it is endless

to think of all of the beautiful sunsets unnoticed, all of the truly wondrous days unappreciated

to think of, instead, choosing a perception clouded and cluttered with senseless chaos

if today were my last, my soul would be drenched with sorrow and regret

to know how I wasted so much of my precious time

Now I just walk through dreamy clouds

So, its May 8,2017, eight more days and I’ll be 40. I find myself sitting in the desert on a brisk night, not by choice, but circumstance. I sit here listening to coyotes yelping in the distance, and an extremely confused bird who, at 1am, decides to almost frantically mock a frog.  I sit here and try to appreciate the bright moonlight, and all things I have and will continue to experience through my senses. 

  I have been meditating a lot lately, and putting effort into being positive and noticing and controlling my emotions. 

  Although, at the moment, my situation wouldn’t prove all of the meditation and positive thinking have done me a bit of good, but it has, my perception of things is so different, and that is the beginning of change.

  I think to myself, “here I am, again”.

I have been exactly where I’m at right now a countless number of times, like a broken record, I always say. 

  The first few times I found myself here, I was resentful, tearful, and confused. I thought to myself several times, “What about karma? I’m a good person , what did I do to deserve this, why me?”  I had intense feelings of jealousy, resentment towards everything, and despair can only slightly begin to describe what has engulfed me.  I was constantly in tears, and I started to,  “disconnect”,  if you will.

  Those feelings gradually faded with each time I, again, found myself alone with nowhere to go. Now I find myself here again, those feelings so faded by now,  they have been replaced with numbness and wonder. 

  I wonder what I have missed, there is some lesson here obviously but I still can’t seem to pin point it. I also wonder why I’m not frantic or anxious, well, for the most part anyway. Is something wrong with me? Well of course, or I wouldn’t continue to find myself here, but I wonder if there’s more, I have been letting “Auto Pilot” take charge as often as can be, but most of the time I feel it is the best decision.  I’m just so spacey, I can hardly grasp my mind in such a way to even realize this until after the fact. It’s so comfortable in the clouds though, I wish I could stay here sometimes, and I come back every chance I get, staying longer each time and paying less attention to “reality”. I know that I won’t get very far that way, but I’m back at the starting point after all I’ve tried, after all of the fear and tears, so I feel like, at least I’m not balling my eyes out, hyperventilating and all that, now I just walk through dreamy clouds. It’s not like I could accomplish less, right? Plus “Auto Pilot” seems pretty intelligent and has kept me alive, so far.

  . I find myself sitting in the desert on a brisk night, not by choice, but circumstance. Using a large bush, which has room to sit and sleep underneath, as some what of a shelter. I sit here listening to coyotes yelping in the distance, and an extremely confused bird who, at 1am, decides to almost frantically mock a frog.  I sit here and try to appreciate the bright moonlight, and all things I have and will continue to experience through my senses. I have been meditating a lot lately, and putting effort into being positive and noticing and controlling my emotions. 

I feel I have also  always been a polite, empathetic person, and I would be the first to welcome a lonely stranger with an open ear and heart.

  Yet here I am, again.

I have been exactly where I’m at right now a countless number of times, like a broken record, I always say. 

  The first few times I found myself here, I was resentful, tearful, and confused. I thought to myself several times, “What about karma? I’m a good person , what did I do to deserve this, why me?”  I had intense feelings of jealousy, resentment towards everything, and despair can only slightly begin to describe what has engulfed me.  I was constantly in tears, and I started to,  “disconnect”,  if you will.

  Those feelings gradually faded with each time I, again, found myself alone with nowhere to go. Now I find myself here again, those feelings so faded by now,  they have been replaced with numbness and wonder. 

  I wonder what I have missed, there is some lesson here obviously but I still can’t seem to pin point it. I also wonder why I’m not frantic or anxious, well, for the most part anyway. Is something wrong with me? Well of course, or I wouldn’t continue to find myself here, but I wonder if there’s more, I have been letting “Auto Pilot” take charge as often as can be, but most of the time I feel it is the best decision.  I’m just so spacey, I can hardly grasp my mind in such a way to even realize this until after the fact. It’s so comfortable in the clouds though, I wish I could stay here sometimes, and I come back every chance I get, staying longer each time and paying less attention to “reality”. I know that I won’t get very far that way, but I’m back at the starting point after all I’ve tried, after all of the fear and tears, so I feel like, at least I’m not balling my eyes out, hyperventilating and all that, now I just walk through dreamy clouds. It’s not like I could accomplish less, right? Plus “Auto Pilot” seems pretty intelligent and has kept me alive, so far.

Prologue- The daydream

There was this place she imagined, a place far from any person, a place full of trees. A place so full of trees she couldn’t see far in any direction, but she knew if she kept walking she would still be surrounded by trees with a floor covered in decomposing plant material and blanketed with several varieties of small plants, many covered in flowers. She could picture this so vividly, the place, the experience, the stroll she would take.

The forest floor, so alive and natural, untouched by any person, speckled with spots of sunlight that had made it through the dense canopy to the ground. She could hear the breeze rustling through the forest, it was a very soothing sound briefly interrupted by the creaking of branches and the songs of various birds singing so happily. She could almost smell the damp plant life, imagining brief instances where the sweet smell of flowers would caress her for a moment. This was the place she longed for and day dreamed of frequently. This was the place she wished she was, she wished every day she could run away to this place. She wanted to run there alone, far from any person and far from the reality of her life.